Sit with Me

Ally couldn't remember how long this living fire had walked next to her. Too long, that was for sure. Sometimes its heat was comforting and other times it was unbearable. No matter how much she ignored it, it always stayed close by. It shrunk and grew, but it never died.

She had long grown tired of the fire and longed to be free of it. But she had no clue where to start. Out of desperation, she asked her mother, "How do I get rid of this fire?"

Her mother's face softened. "It's not an easy feat. It will take a lot of work. You may not like it."'

"Mom, I'll do anything!" Ally begged.

"You must go to the woods."

Ally stared at her mother. "The woods..."

"Yes, the woods." Her mother said nothing more.

The next morning, Ally headed to the woods. She wasn't all that sure what she was looking for, but the cracking of the fire forced her to keep moving. She walked for a while…until she found a clearing with two stone chairs.

One was black, like it had been trapped in a fire. Her living fire sat on that chair. Ally stared at it. "What, you expect me to sit and TALK with you? No way!"

Ally passed around the chairs, frustration beginning to build. "You've been a problem for as long as I can remember! You get me in trouble! You make things harder than they need to be!" Ally yelled, stomping about like she was a kid again.

“I didn't ask for this, you know! I didn't need to be different! I would have been perfectly fine being like everyone else!" She turned to keep yelling at the living fire, only to see how much larger the flame had gotten.

"Oh." She placed a hand on the empty store chair, its coolness calming her. "Are you my anger?" She'd never talked to the fire before; she had never thought it would be worth it.

The fire shook its head.

Ally tilted her head. "No? But you flared up…. Come to think of it, you always get bigger when I lose it." She slowly moved to sit in the chair. "And the flare-ups get me in trouble. And they happen when I'm mad..."

The fire shook its head again.

Ally's brow furrowed, and she stared hard at the fire. "I don't understand. Am I remembering wrong?"

The fire nodded this time.

"Oh, so you do know the word for ‘yes,’ or action I guess."

Ally rested her head on her hands. She tried to think of times when she'd gotten mad and the fire hadn't gotten huge….

Then it hit her. "When I want to defend someone, or when it's something I care about. So what makes that different..."

The wheels kept turning in her mind. When did the fire grow, and why did it never go out? "Wait..." Ally stared at the fire. "No..." Alley shook her head and curled in on herself.

"I DON'T WANT TO DEAL WITH THIS YET!" Her voice became shrill, she cried, and the fire grew bigger.

A hand rested on her shoulder. “I can handle it, you know..." The voice was kind, warm, and familiar.

"King!" Ally jumped up, trying to make herself presentable and hide her fire.

"Ally." His voice was so gentle, she felt like she could break if He spoke anymore.

"No King, I'm fine, completely fine." She knew he could see through her lie.

"Ally, you don't need to run forever; in fact, you can't.” Alley shook her head again.

"Let me take it...'' He held out his hands. "I can handle it."

She bit her lip. "I'm scared of what I'll find if I let go." She looked at the fire. “I may not always like it, but it's comforting." She looked between the two.

She slowly turned back to the king, tears burning her eyes. "Why? Why am I different... I didn't need to be! You could have used me if I wasn't different! I might even be more helpful if other things didn't get in the way!" Her voice got louder, and her tears came faster. She felt the ache in her heart come back, an ache she'd been trying to avoid. She was ashamed she was mad at the King. She turned to look away from the King and noticed she wasn’t feeling the heat anymore.

Her living fire wasn't on fire anymore; rather it was like a living ember. She gasped and looked back at the King; He was holding the fire in his hand.

The living ember took a step closer to her. "Grief," It stated and pointed to itself.

"Grief? You're my grief?"

Grief nodded.

Ally let her tears fall. She sat on the ground, resting her back against the chair. "I never liked being different. Kids are mean, grown-ups don't always understand, it's hard when everything is harder. Everyone says you have a rhythm and a reason." She looked at the King, who moved to sit close by. The fire had somehow vanished, and Grief sat with them too.

"I never understood why I couldn't be like everyone else..." She'd run out of tears and she looked to Grief. “I'm sorry I avoided you." Then she took the King's hand. "I should have talked with you a long time ago.”

"You were ready today." He smiled softly. "I know it hasn't been easy for you. I know telling you that I have plans for you isn't going to take the hurt away. But I didn't make you this way so you'd be useless. You are who you are because you have and will continue to do great things that I have planned for you."

Ally looked at the King. "I really want to believe you, King; but today, I just don't have it in me."'

"That's alright, I still believe in you. And I will use you in my kingdom." He squeezed her hand.

"I do trust you, King." She looked over at Grief. "I'll let you go with the King. I know He can handle my feelings and anything else that I throw at Him…”

Grief smiled and everyone stood up; then the King and Grief slipped into the woods.

Alley walked home. She knew that if grief or anger or anything else became too much, she could let the King help her, even when it scared her. She didn't need to face her emotions alone.