I Knew I Shouldn’t Have Come

I grip the steering wheel of the car until my knuckles are white. Why had I let Marcy talk me into joining her craft club? I glance at the colouring book and the cheap set of coloured pencils I picked up at the dollar store on my way here. It had been years since I’d coloured, and maybe it was a lame craft, but I didn’t want to learn a new craft in front of strangers.

Letting out a slow breath, I leave my car and turn to face the house. Marcy waves at me from the window. I wave back. I’d met her at my first job here in the city, and when I left that job, she kept in touch, changing us from work friends to real-life friends. She’s been on my case for months to join this craft club. She seems to think I am too much of a homebody and need more friends. It’s not my fault that my cat and husband are the perfect amount of companionship, and that I would rather play my farming sim than deal with people after a day of work.

When I get to the door, before I can even knock, she throws open the door, “OH MY GOSH YOU CAME!” She pulls me into a hug. I try not to stiffen as everyone turns to look at us. She grabs my hand and drags me around to meet everyone. “As Marcy guides me into the living room she gestures to a room full of people, she rattles off names and I try to pay attention, I notice some knitting, crocheting, something with needle and thread, someone has a diamond art on a TV tray and then at the table someone has a drawing set up. “I see you have coloured penicles, so you can sit with Jess at the table, she's an amazing artist. She works with charcoal. But she’s running late, so set up there and she’ll join you when she gets here.”

The name Jess triggers a memory I'd rather forget; my husband's ex is named Jessica, and my mother-in-law was determined she was the only one for her son. She dragged that other woman to several of our engagement events. I think the only reason she didn't show up at our wedding is because my husband threatened to uninvite his mother if she didn't drop the issue. So even though Jessica was out of our lives now, I couldn't help but feel like I was forever in her shadow. I wasn't even sure if I blamed the woman; she always seemed uncomfortable at the events my mother-in-law dragged her to. We moved away from his home after our wedding, giving some much-needed space from his mother and the ex-girlfriend.

I shake my head and take a seat, and open my colouring book, looking for a picture to colour. As I flip through the book, I settle on a picture that reminds me of my cat. Over the next half an hour, I listen to these women share stories from their day, and update each other on work place drama. It’s nice to list to everyone chat, I feel myself start to relax, maybe I could join this group.

Suddenly, the door opens, and I don’t look up right away as I am focused on the shading in a picture. "The coffee shop line was crazy, ladies! But I got everyone’s favourite!” I freeze, that voice no, it can't be. I hear the women share their thanks, "Oh! You must be Marcy's friend from her old job. I’m so sorry I didn’t know you were coming and Marcy didn’t give me your coffee ord-" I look up to see if my guess is correct and she stops, “It's you!" She stammers.

“It's me," I say awkwardly.

“I swear I had no idea you and John moved here, Ellie. My boyfriend, I have one of those now. I meant him after you got married. He got a job in the city, so I followed him. I promise!” Her voice is frantic. “I’ll go, you can stay, I don’t want to kic-”

I held up my hand, "Please, I believe you. I promise I do. But I can't do this right now.” I quickly gather up my colouring book and pencils, "Marcy, I'll call you in the morning.” I quickly race out of there. As soon as I'm in my car I call John.

“Hey, Gorgeous? Why are you calling me? Aren't you at Marcy's crafting thing?” He sounds worried.

I start driving, "I was! But you'll never guess who's a member?”

"You better tell me then.” He teases, trying to lighten the mood, "It's not the manager who made your life miserable at the old job, is it?”

"No, that might have been easier to deal with.” I let out a sigh, and I turned to take the road toward the ice cream.

"Then who could it be?” He asks, clearly on the edge of his seat.

“Jessica." I say flatly.

“As in my ex Jessic? As in the women, my mother is for whatever reason obsessed with Jessica?” His disbelief is not well hidden.

“Yes! She even still does charcoal drawing. And get this, Marcy even thought we'd be great friends!" I pull into the ice cream shop parking lot.

“Well, you do both have great taste in men." He chuckles.

“Shut up." I laugh, “I stopped at the ice cream shop, you want anything?"

“If you want your own, I'll get a strawberry blast, but if you wanna share whatever chocolate explosion you're gonna want is fine with me." I can hear his smile. “I’ll see you soon, Gorgeous." The line goes dead. I head into the ice cream shop and order our two dishes. Just as I sit back down in the car, Marcy calls.

“Marcy, I'm not coming back, you can't make me." I take a breath that was sharper than I intended, "Look, I know that Jessica isn't to blame and she probably wants to talk, but I can't right now. We just started healing our relationship with his mother. I'm not ready to face the cause of the fracture."

"Girl, I respect that. I wish I had connected the dots between both of y'all's stories before inviting you. Maybe we can find another club for you to join, or maybe you and Jess can talk it out, and you can join us!” as if it could be that easy.

“Honestly, the library has a video game club. John and I have been thinking about joining. So I'm not sure crafting is for me anyway. But I'll think about it.”

I hear her sigh on the other end of the line, "Whatever you say, Ellie. Will you still be up for our walk on Wednesday?"

“Of course, Marcy. I'll see you then.” I hang up the phone and drive home to my cat, husband, the only company I need for tonight.