A Little Chaos

From the kitchen, Carol listens to the boys' war cries, as they turn her once tidy living room into a battleground, she hears something about dragons and magic. At this point, she doesn’t want to know. She’d sent them to her mothers earlier that day, so she could clean the house for decorating the tree and putting up the rest of Christmas. She planned on waiting till Sunday, but when the boys woke up to see the tree in the living room, they couldn’t wait to decorate. She’d hoped that meant they would be calm this evening, but instead, she has twin boys wreaking havoc on a once clean room. But she'd promised they could decorate the tree, so she would keep that promise.

She hadn't counted on her mother letting the boys sample Christmas cookies. Carol had expected them to try one or two, but the boys had rattled off at least five different flavours. She'd wanted a calm, quiet night decorating their Christmas tree. She should have known better.

She sighs as her husband walks through the door, "Well, that's a loaded sigh if I ever heard one. Let me guess, the boys are sugar goblins?" She meets him in the entryway and nods silently, resting her head on his chest. He wraps her in a tight hug, and they stand together until another battle cry echoes into the entryway. Coral tenses, Will chuckles, “Well, good thing I need help shovelling snow. Ted, Franky! We're moving snow, let's go!"Coral jumps back as the boys come racing from the living room.

"Dad! Daddy!" The boys sheick and wriggle themself around his legs, causing Will to grab the door frame to keep from tumbling over. "Grandma let us taste test her Christmas cookies!"

Understanding dawning on Will, "Ah! I see I see." He shakes the boys off his legs, "Guess you'll have all the energy we need for shovelling snow!” he gestures to the living room with an eyebrow raised.

She puts her hand up, "If you keep them outside long enough, I'll reset the living room and set up supper."

"Alright, boys, snow gear, let's go!” Carol helps get the boys out the door and breathes in the quiet, “Alright, let’s do this.” She walks into the living room and puts the sofa cushions back, where they belong. As she folds the blankets that had been used for forts. The quiet starts to feel silent, she plays soft holiday music to have some controlled sound. She throws pillows back on the sofa. Looking at the toys spread across the floor, sighing, she tosses them into a laundry basket to be dealt with in the morning.

She pulls the ornament boxes out and sets them in front of the coffee table, “Ohh, Will and I haven’t sorted these out yet.” She looks at the clock. Did she have time to sort them out real quick? “No, no, it will be fine, Will and I will both be here, we can manage it.”

She walks back to the kitchen to finish supper. She sneaks a peek out the window, and she sees the boys playing with their dad, running and screaming. Laughing as he tosses each of them into a snow bank.

She pulls out a serving platter and slices up some cheese, cuts apples, and places them along with some carrots on the platter. She puts popcorn in four small bowls for each of them. She sees them still playing, so she quickly makes some stove-top hot chocolate.

She sets the food and drink on the coffee table as the door opens and the boys come charging in, calling out, "Mommy! Mom! We were so helpful!

She chuckles and meets them at the entryway, trying to keep them from bringing snow inside. "I'm sure you were." She kneels to look them in the eye, they still look hyper, they have rosy cheeks and their sweat has their hair plastered to their faces. She wipes hair from their eyes, “Ready for our first Christmas tradition?"

"Yeah!" The boys cheer. Carol and her husband wrangle the boys out of their snow suits and into the living room. Carol tries to explain the rules with the ornaments and that they have to be careful with certain ones. The boys are more interested in the food and hot chocolate in front of them.

She can barely get through the ornament boxes with the boys before they are tossing soft ornaments at each other. Her husband tries to refocus their energy, it works for a moment. The music plays in the background, and Carol snaps cute photos for the memory books.

This picture-perfect moment lasts for all of five minutes before Ted shoves Franky out of the way to put his ornaments in that exact spot. And the ornaments tossing begins again. Before Carol or Will can stop them, Franky tosses a Christmas ball in Ted's direction, and it shatters across the ground, for a second time stops.

The sound pierces Carol, looking at the shimmer pieces on her hardwood floor, she realizes what ornament Franky threw, a simple red and white striped Christmas ball. The last one she had from the tree she and her sister, Eve, had shared the year they lived together. It burns more than she expresses. I knew I should have taken the time… Food could have waited.

Then reality hits, and there is no time for overwhelming, silly emotions; the boys could not step on one of the pieces. Will grabs Franky, and Carol grabs Ted, and they toss them on the couch. "Don't move." They say at the same time.

Coral moves to the kitchen and grabs the broom. Tears prick at her eyes, and she blinks them away. Her boys are young; they aren't trying to wreck her ideallic Christmas tradition or the last ornament of a cherished memory.

Maybe she should have insisted they wait until Sunday, then she and Will would have had time to sort out the twin safe ornaments for decorating and saved the ones they couldn’t lose for decorating after the boys had gone to bed. She'd just thought the boys were old enough…

Her spiral is stopped by Will meeting her in the kitchen. He puts his hand on the broom handle, tugging it towards himself slightly. She doesn’t let go immediately, she looks up at him with tears brimming, he pulls the broom free from her grip and sets it aside, and pulls her into another hug, the tears flow, “Shhh, I know, I know.” He rubs her back before wiping her tears, "Take a moment.” His tone is soft. “I'll clean up and chat with the boys."

She takes his hand, giving it a grateful squeeze. He pulls her close and kisses her forehead before taking the broom and turning to deal with the mess.

She slides down the cabinet and sits on the floor, the wood on her back, and the cool floor ground her. Her foot kicks the box of Advent supplies. She reaches over and pulls it towards her. Opening it, she finds the Christ candle sitting on top. She takes it out, “I suppose chaos and Christmas kinda go together.” She lets out a small laugh.

Despite knowing she has to go back to the living room, she stands up, finds the lighter in the drawer and lets the candle, setting it on the island she breaths in slowly, letting herself remember the chaos of the first Christmas, a young girls life getting turned upside down a baby in a stable, smelling shepherds showing up hours after the brith. She feels her heart rate slow, and the Christ candle light flickers and dances. Yeah, it’s okay that her Christmas had a little bit of chaos in it. Even if she missed the days when she could have everything just right.

She hears her children ask if Mommy was mad at them. She blows out the candle and walks to the living room. Leaning on the door frame, "No babies, I'm not mad, I just had an idea of how I wanted tonight to go, and it hasn't gone that way. And that's okay. Would you like to try again?" She didn’t need to explain that the broken ornament was special to her; it wasn’t worth it right now, and who knows, Eve might still have the ones she kept.

"Yes!" Ted jumps off the couch.

"We'll be careful!" Franky yells. Will and Carol tuck some of the more fragile ones away and try again.

It's still chaotic, but Carol lets the calm from earlier flow through her.